He gasped for breath beneath the sea. With the water pricking his eyes, he could barely keep them open. He flapped his hands hard, but he was drawn further into the sea. Strangely, the water was hot.

He opened his eyes.

No water. But he was sinking.

The Kalahari consumed his senses. And his body.

Is it? Is it not?


Sweat poured in buckets, down his forehead. It was as if someone held a shotgun to his forehead.

The pressure! What would the press say? How will he handle the questions?

“THIRTY-FORTY!” the umpire bellowed. His opponent was on match point. If he lost, then never again…

He served an ace! DEUCE! Maybe, just maybe…


No good thing ever dies.


Why ex…?

I don’t need her. If SHE wants to come back to me, so be it.

We never hit it off anyway.

I wonder how we got together.

Our relationship was an unusual problem.

That’s why I never went looking for my ex.

My thoughts were interrupted, “… find the value of x, students!”


Women and Mathematics – haven’t understood both.


“Sir… don’t fire him, please. He’s such a nice guy. Always cheerful, and a great team member. The girls say he’s a ‘take-home-to-meet-parents’ guy.”

“He has to go! What good has he done for the company anyway?”

And absent-mindedly, I said aloud, “It’s not who you are underneath, it’s what you do that defines you.”

Oh really?

I don’t think so…


Teeth, brushed. Breakfast, had. Paper, read. TV, watched.

If the events of last night were anything to go by, this was a very mundane morning. Nothing was happening.

She checked Twitter. Saw a picture and this tweet: THATZ ME GIVIN HEAD TO MAH GF! LOLZ!

She laughed… then realised. It was her boyfriend. And her.

Sex tape

You can run, but you can’t hide…




He circled his deadliest enemy carefully. How should the attack be? Quick finish, or a slow, painful death? Decisions, decisions…

Suddenly, he said out loud: “…And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you! Ezekiel 25:17!”

He threw his fork away and stuffed the revolting spinach down his throat.

Chomp chomp

Here’s looking at you, kid.


“No, no, just leave him and he’ll come to his senses.”
“I’m telling you, call the lawyer…”
“Are you mad? First make sure!”
“I say take a gun and BOOM! End it!”

I didn’t know what was worse. My cheating husband or these women. Did they have no work to do?


So here’s what you should do…


This was the first time they were going out. He waited endlessly for her to get ready. “Hurry up!”

“In a minute darling!”

She came out… he wished she hadn’t.

“What ARE you wearing…?”

“It’s called FASHION!”

The moment they entered the party, all boys stared at her.

Where’s that gun when you need it?


How do I look, darling?


Lustful sex with one goddess wasn’t enough for him.
His greed wanted more. And he got more.
But gluttony gave way to sloth. He passed out – of sheer exertion.
The goddesses left him for better men. How he envied them!
His pride was hurt, his wrath sought vengeance.
But God passed His final judgment.

All of this, for what?


Snip. Tear. Cut.

Rip! Crack! Crush!



Arkham Asylum was torn to shreds. Out came Killer Croc and Bane.

“Where is BATMAN?” they screamed in unison.

“I’m here…” said Batman, behind them.

Just as they were about to battle, I heard, “COME DOWN AND HAVE DINNER RIGHT NOW OR ELSE!”


Are you coming down or not!?


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